Family estrangement can become especially painful as the holiday season approaches. People dealing with a rupture may experience grief, depression, low self-worth, anxiety, rumination and sleep problems—effects that can follow them into the workplace.
Accounts collected during research for the book Brothers, Sisters, Strangers describe worsening emotional distress between October and December. Some people report frequent crying, difficulty sleeping, physical symptoms and withdrawing from daily activities. The expectation of idealized family gatherings can intensify feelings of loss and shame.
Those effects can influence attendance, concentration and work output. Employees may be physically present while mentally preoccupied with past conflicts, possible unwanted contact or uncertainty about whether a relationship will be restored. This form of “presenteeism” can contribute to missed deadlines, reduced focus, irritability and workplace tension.
The issue may affect a significant share of the workforce. A 2025 YouGov poll cited in the article found that 38% of U.S. adults reported being estranged from at least one close family member. That figure was higher than the 27% reported in a 2020 Cornell University study, which estimated that roughly 67 million American adults were estranged from a relative before the pandemic.
Research cited in the article has also linked family estrangement—particularly estrangement from both parents and siblings—with lower life satisfaction and greater depression. At the same time, ending or pausing contact can be protective and necessary for personal safety in some circumstances.
Estrangement can also shape professional interactions. Experiences involving boundary violations, criticism, betrayal or unresolved conflict may affect how employees respond to authority, feedback and workplace disagreements. A brief message from a supervisor or exclusion from a meeting, for example, may be interpreted through the lens of unresolved family pain.
Holiday conversations at work can create additional triggers. Discussions about family plans and traditions may be difficult for employees who feel isolated or ashamed about their relationships. Some may withdraw from colleagues, potentially affecting morale and collaboration.
The article recommends that employees manage the impact by speaking with supervisors about priorities, clarifying expectations and, where possible, discussing flexible scheduling. Breaking projects into smaller steps, setting availability boundaries and postponing nonessential tasks may also help.
Short breaks, reduced social-media use, breathing exercises and mindfulness can help employees regain focus during the day. Switching to demanding tasks that require concentration or collaboration may limit rumination, while explicitly describing the task at hand can help keep attention on immediate work.
Outside work, using paid time off for a genuine mental break, maintaining sleep and exercise routines, seeking support and creating new holiday rituals may provide stability. The article also suggests setting aside a limited period for worrying and using writing to acknowledge grief and organize difficult thoughts.
Sources: Psychology Today.