While society often equates making love exclusively with sexual activity, a broader interpretation suggests the concept encompasses any act where individuals share pleasure to deepen their emotional bonds. This expanded view was championed by Elizabeth Kanitz Canfield, a health educator, activist, and Austrian Holocaust survivor who passed away recently. Canfield believed that limiting the definition of making love to the physical realm ignored numerous ways people can connect through shared joy.
According to Canfield, activities such as listening to music together and being moved by its beauty constitute making love. Similarly, taking a hike while reveling in the sights, sounds, and smells of nature with gratitude, or engaging in a conversation that fosters a genuine connection, are all valid forms of this practice. This perspective offers significant benefits across various relationship dynamics. It can strengthen romantic couples by introducing a wider variety of shared pleasures and deepen ties between close friends who may never be lovers but share mutual interests.
Furthermore, this concept serves as a soothing substitute for physical intimacy as couples age. For many, cuddling while listening to favorite music, revisiting cherished locations, or simply sharing warm memories can enhance love without requiring sexual activity. In both sexual and platonic relationships, allowing experiences that please all senses helps create lasting bonds of shared pleasure. Examples range from enjoying a brisk autumn walk or making snow angels in winter to swimming in a tropical lagoon or delighting in the laughter of a child.
The author also reflects on Maurice, another Holocaust survivor who endured the Baghdad Farhud. Like Canfield, Maurice managed his trauma by finding humor amidst pain and lived a life filled with true joy. His contagious laughter made him a delightful companion as both a lover and a lifelong platonic friend. For the author, laughing with Maurice was an act of making love. Both survivors, having witnessed unspeakable horrors in their youth, chose to live fully by embracing simple and profound pleasures they shared with others. The ability to do the same is presented as the true essence of making love.
Sources: Psychology Today.