Women surveyed in a new study said they wanted to talk about sex more often with their close female Friends, despite expecting such conversations to cause discomfort or invite judgment. The research, published in The Journal of Sex Research, examined which topics women discuss, which they avoid and how they think friends might respond if they raised something new.
The study surveyed 608 U.S. women aged 20 to 77 who spoke with at least one female friend every week. Across 17 sex-related topics, participants reported an average discussion frequency of 1.82 on a four-point scale. Their preferred frequency averaged 2.77, and women wanted to discuss each of the topics more often than they said they currently did.
Birth control, condoms, sexually transmitted infections, sexual problems and low sex drive were among the subjects women most wanted to discuss. In practice, conversations most often covered how frequently participants had sex, birth control and sex that was enjoyable. Anal sex, pornography, masturbation and sexually transmitted infections were among the least discussed topics.
Participants generally saw value in talking about sex with friends, particularly for feeling less alone, getting help with problems, learning what is typical and strengthening friendships. They also supported making it more acceptable to talk about sexual problems and to acknowledge both enjoying and not enjoying sex.
However, 78.6% expected at least one negative reaction if they brought up a topic they had not previously discussed. The most common concern was that a friend would feel uncomfortable, followed by fears of being judged or considered weird or gross. In written responses, participants described sex as taboo, raised concerns about privacy and mentioned shame, cultural expectations and religion.
The researchers note that these findings reflect women’s expectations, not observed reactions from their friends. The survey cannot establish whether friends would actually respond negatively or whether participants overestimated that risk. The study also measured responses at one point in time, so its correlations cannot show what causes women to anticipate judgment.
Lead author Katrina L. Pariera said that opening a broader conversation about why sex feels taboo could help friends understand what they are comfortable discussing. She also cautioned that talking more is not necessarily beneficial if conversations reinforce stigma, and emphasized the importance of listening without judgment.
Sources: PsyPost.