Silently viewing someone’s public social media posts, without liking, commenting or requesting contact, can be one way to follow their life while respecting their boundaries. In a personal perspective published by Psychology Today, an author describes doing this with the Instagram account of a late friend’s daughter, now a college-aged emerging adult, as part of coping with grief.
The author says the young woman’s public posts offer glimpses of her travels, friendships and achievements. Seeing her grow up—and noticing her resemblance to her mother—brings comfort amid grief that remains five years after the friend’s death. The author also believes the friend would have been proud of her daughter.
At the same time, the author says their friendship with the young woman’s mother does not automatically mean the daughter wants a relationship with them. By avoiding comments, likes and follow requests, the author aims to observe from a distance without intruding during a significant period of the young woman’s life.
The essay connects this choice with research on social media and bereavement, noting that digital spaces can provide therapeutic support for people who are grieving. It also describes emerging adulthood as a period of identity exploration, suggesting that staying silent can be a way to acknowledge another person’s autonomy while managing one’s own loss.
The author hopes they may reconnect someday. For now, they continue to view the public posts quietly and wish the young woman well from afar.
Sources: Psychology Today.