Meditation can help reduce shame surrounding fetishes by creating space between thoughts and the reactions that follow them. The practice does not eliminate unwanted thoughts or change a person’s personality; instead, it may make the mind feel less frantic and less caught in repetitive negative patterns.
The suggested exercise begins with sitting comfortably and focusing on the sensations of breathing. Practitioners are encouraged to notice details such as the movement of air through the nose, the lungs filling and the sensation of exhaling. When attention shifts to another thought, the instruction is simply to recognize the change and gently return to the breath.
The approach is not about suppressing unpleasant thoughts. When shame related to a fetish appears, the recommendation is to notice it as a thought rather than react to it, criticize it or add more ideas to it. Returning attention to breathing each time the thought reappears can help prevent the associated emotional response from gaining strength.
The article argues that suffering often comes less from the fetish itself than from judgments and stories built around it. A moment of arousal, for example, can quickly lead to thoughts about being abnormal, rejection or the possibility of never living a normal life. Those additional thoughts can turn a neutral experience into an escalating shame spiral.
Meditation offers another way to respond: acknowledge that arousal or attraction has occurred without developing a larger narrative around it. The practice does not require pretending that thoughts are absent, but encourages observing them and allowing them to pass without becoming absorbed in them.
The recommended starting point is 10 to 15 minutes a day, three days a week, although the article says that even a few minutes of practice each week may be beneficial. The guidance is presented as an excerpt from the book “Fetish: Smash Taboos and Celebrate What Turns You On.”
Sources: Psychology Today.